The importance of being respectful

Thirukkural with the Times explores real-world lessons from the classic Tamil text ‘Thirukkural’. Written by Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar, the Kural consists of 1,330 short couplets of seven words each. This text is divided into three books with teachings on virtue, wealth, and love and is considered one of the great works ever on ethics and morality. The Kural has influenced scholars and leaders across social, political, and philosophical spheres.

Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.

Growing up, I never heard a single swear word or indecent expression at home. The harshest one I remember was the rare reprimand, “Don’t be stupid”, from our mother which would send my sisters and me into tears for hours.

In those days, decency was a non-negotiable virtue, and profanity, even when uttered by fringe voices, remained contained in the shadows, by a world untouched by social media's omnipresence. Public meetings with foul-mouthed speakers were forbidden territory.

But today, the dam has burst.

Words, once abandoned and found only rarely in Harold Robinson novels, are now flung around like stones in the street. The once-hushed four-letter words now find their way into our films and homes, seeping into innocent ears. College corridors ring with sexually explicit banter, and the virtual world overflows with vulgarity masquerading as stand-up comedy or free speech.

Even amidst this, a recent political speech shocked the conscience of many. Delivered by a senior leader holding high office, it was a cocktail of crudeness—misogynistic, irreverent, and peppered with deliberate obscenity.

Yes, free speech is the bedrock of a thriving democracy. But when profanity is dressed up as freedom, when it targets some genders, communities and denigrates symbols held sacred, it ceases to be expression and becomes aggression.

It is at such junctures that the wisdom of Thiruvalluvar shines with piercing clarity.

In the chapter titled “The Power of Speech”, he writes:

Aakkamum Kedum Adhanaal Varuvadaal

Kaathombal Sollinkann Sorvu.

Kural 642

Gain and loss in life depend on speech, Hence

Defend thyself from careless slips.

Valluvar places this couplet in the section meant for ministers who advise kings, wield power, and influence the masses. Why? Because words, in the hands of the powerful, are like fire in the hands of a sorcerer—they can illuminate or incinerate.

The Porutpaal—the Book of Wealth in Thirukkural—is often considered a manual on governance. Scholars further divide it into guidelines for kings, ministers, and frameworks for good governance. The fact that speech is highlighted in the ministerial section is no coincidence. Valluvar saw what many modern minds often overlook: governance isn't just about policies, it's about poise.

Science is increasingly acknowledging the power of language on human perceptions. A study at the University of Wisconsin-Madison subjected participants to mismatched visuals and audio. When they were shown an image of a tiger but told it was a bear, their brains believed what they heard rather than what they saw. The takeaway? Language doesn’t just describe reality; it shapes it.

imagine the influence of a public speech. Every word carries a weight far heavier than the breath that bore it. It moulds opinions, cements prejudices, or inspires action. A speech cannot be separated from the speaker; words are but a larger picture of one’s inner self.

Let every speaker ask himself or herself a question before stepping onto the stage:
“Would I say these words in front of my daughter or granddaughter?” If that falters, the script must change.

In an era that prizes volume over value, it is all the more vital that we return to the wisdom of restraint, prescribed by Valluvar.

Let us choose our words with care. For they are not just sounds.
They are seeds.